I'm A Big Girl Now...Sort of....

It's time to have a party!  Our little Aspyn hit the 4 pound mark today!  She has grown and changed so much! She looks more and more like Kayl every day. 

 

Another exciting milestone also happened today, well last night to be exact...Aspyn was taken off the oxygen COMPLETELY!  She is no longer needing it!  This is HUGE! 

 

It seems like she is hitting huge milestones all at once now.  It won't be long (like tomorrow or the the next day) and she will come out of the isolette, and just be in an infant crib.  She is holding her body temperature like she should be. 

 

Within the last few days, she also started taking a bottle every other feeding, and finishing the entire bottle.  Before she was only taking about 10cc of her bottle, and then had to take the rest through the feeding tube.  She would just get too tired to do the whole thing.  It's a lot of work to take a bottle, but I think she is getting it down!

 

We just cannot believe how much she has grown.  She is still tiny, but a healthy-looking tiny.  We fall in love with her more and more every day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Happy One Month!

Our little Angel is officially one month old! 

 

And she has also gained 1 pound, and now weighs 2 pounds 15 ounces!

 

She is doing so amazing.  She is on a feeding schedule, instead of a continuous drip of milk.  This is really important, because it means we may get to introduce her to a bottle really soon!  To be able to feed her will be so awesome!  Her little belly is tolerating the 20 minute feedings really well, through the feeding tube. 

 

Her breathing is improving and she is having a lot less apnea spells.  She is now on a much smaller nasal tube, and goes 2 hour periods throughout the day with nothing in her nose for oxygen.  I really cannot wait to get all the tubes and monitors off of her!  Now that her feeding tube is in her nose, and not her mouth, we have noticed she does not have the same lips as Kayl.  She has tiny little pouty lips!  And the they are the cutest when she curls them up and gives us a big smile.

 

She is holding her body temperature much better, and even gets a little sweaty when we do the kangaroo care.  This means we get to hold her every time we go see her, instead of just one of us, once a day.  She no longer needs warmed blankets, and it's so great just to snuggle her.

 

We really cannot wait to bring her home.  It's still going to be awhile, as she has to be able to take a bottle and get a little bigger.  But every day we are one day closer to being complete.  We love you Aspyn Lou!

 

Kangaroo care with Mommy

She was so alert and awake! 

So tired!

I think she is already sick of me taking photos.

So tiny in my arms!

 

 

Perspective

I have found myself thinking way too deeply this past month about the meaning of life, and purpose, and a higher power, and my perspective of everything in my world.  I can't help it. It's just been a life-changing time for us, and no matter how hard I try to center myself, my mind goes deep.

 

The first time I held Kayl in my arms, my whole perspective changed.  He made the world a different place.  He changed me forever in an instant.  I have never felt that kind of love before and it was the best thing I have ever felt. 

 

I thought when I got the opportunity to meet Aspyn, that things wouldn't be so different because I know what it is to love my child.  But boy, was I wrong.  Because of the way she came into this world so early and vulnerable, she changed my perspective all over again.  She changed the way I looked at Kayl.  She changed the way I looked at Tony.  She changed everything. 

 

 So many small things in my world just didn't seem important anymore.  Priorities changed.  And the things I am blessed with seem so much more significant.

 

Tonight while I was at the hospital,  I learned that a friend of my loved one learned today, at her routine ob visit, that she had lost her baby.  The baby had passed away about 2 weeks ago, and she had to be induced today to get the baby out. She was 5 months along. I felt sick to my stomach for her loss, and my heart was instantly with someone I have never met.  A loss like that is unimaginable.

And just down the hall from her delivery room, our little miracle baby was thriving and growing.  And all I could think about was the fact that if I didn't get sick, and they didn't have to deliver Aspyn early, we could have easily lost her the same way. 

 

Life is busy, and hectic, and unorganized most of the time.  Most of us have jobs, and bills, and school, and cleaning, and laundry, and........

 

BUT, it's so important to stop each and every day, and look at our children, and really see them. I have always tried to be the best mom I can for Kayl.  I have always tried to make sure his every need was met.  But Aspyn has even changed my perspective on the way I was parenting.  Since she came into this world, I tell Kayl I love him 100 times a day.  I hug him tighter and more often.  I tell him he is special, and smart, and important.  And I stop whatever it is that I am doing, to play a game of hide-and-seek, or read a book...every time he asks me to.  And I know I will never regret leaving the dirty dishes in the sink another night.  And when we finally get to bring our baby girl home, I will do all the same things for her.

 

We all need to stop and give our children all of who we are.  Not just because they need it, but because they deserve it.  Just think how better off this world would be if all children grew up being loved like that.  I will try everyday to love my children as much as I can, not just with words, but with my actions as well.  Not just because they need it, not just because I need it, but also because I feel like I owe it that woman I have never met, as she feels a sadness I hope I never have to feel. 

 

Movin' On Up

I finally have a few minutes for an Aspyn update!  And I am happy to report, she is doing amazing!  This past week has been so great for her. 

 

She is on full feedings at 7cc an hour, and not receiving any more IV fluids.  She is also getting a calorie supplement in the milk to help her gain weight faster.  She now weighs 2 pounds 11 ounces!  Her little arms and legs are starting to fill out a bit and she has a tiny amount of baby fat now.

 

She is able to stay on room air most of the time, and is breathing great.  She still has episodes of apnea, but that is completely normal for all babies.  She will grow out of it when her brain stem develops all the way.

 

The most exciting news is Aspyn has been moved to a different room of the NICU.  The first room she was in is reserved for the "sickest" babies, and those who are really sensitive to their surroundings.  So the fact that she has been moved out of that room is HUGE news and a great step forward for us. 

 

Unfortunately, I do not have any new pictures to share, as we have not been able to see her the last 5 days.  Our household has been plagued with sickness and we can't risk taking germs up to the NICU.  We have had a miserable and trying week.  Tony and I have been sick, and Kayl had a 24 hour stay in the hospital thanks to severe dehydration from Rota virus.  But we are all on the mend, and hope to see our angel tomorrow.  I don't care if I have to go in there in a bio-hazard suit, I need to see our baby girl! :)



Scary

It's hard to believe Aspyn is already two weeks old.  At times it seems as though it's flown by, and at times it seems like the longest 2 weeks of our lives!

 

We made it through our first little scare with our baby girl.  We have been warned that there will be bad days, and set-backs, but we were not prepared for the horrible feeling days like that bring.  We are so blessed that she is so tiny, and went 2 weeks without any hiccups, but we certainly wish every day could be a good day.

 

The doctors started noticing that the breast milk they were giving Aspyn was not moving through her like it should be.  Her lab results came back with numbers indicating she may have an infection.  They were very concerned that it may be in her stomach or her intestines. A condition called NEC was also brought to our attention...you will have to google it if you are curious, because just typing out an explanation would make me start crying all over again.  Anyway, if she had NEC, then she would require surgery, which she would have to have in Sioux Falls or Denver. 

 

We could tell she really didn't feel well.  She slept the entire day (and she normally has 2-3 awake periods during the day), she was very lethargic, and her color was a little off. 

 

Thankfully, over the last 2 days, her labs all came back better.  This morning all her counts were close to normal, and her stomach xray looked perfect.  They have been treating her with antibiotics and took her off the breast milk as soon as they noticed something was wrong.  So we are very hopeful that we are past this scare and she will continue to be great.  They decided this morning to put her back on a tiny bit of breast milk and see how she handles it.  We have our fingers crossed that she just had a little stomach bug and not anything serious.  The next few days will tell us a lot.

 

Trying not to think about the scary things is difficult, but we are just trying to keep our minds on today, and all the things we can be thankful for...

 

Aspyn's respiration is great, she is breathing room air, all on her own

 

She continues to gain weight and is now a whopping 2 pounds 5 ounces.

 

She is alert for periods during the day and has started to respond to Tony and me.  She reaches for us when we talk to her.

 

We are still able to hold her everyday and do the kangaroo care.  It's the best hour of the day!

 

She continues to be feisty for the nurses and is constantly pulling out her nasal tube and removing the monitors from her belly.  She is very opinionated and knows that she likes already...and what she doesn't like!

 

Her little features are starting to come out, and she looks so much like Kayl.  They have the same nose, and the same lips.  Her hair is starting to thicken and is darker in color.

 

Her umbilical cord came off and now we can see the tiniest, cutest belly button on the planet!

 

 

Thank you for following our journey, and if you have time for an extra prayer, or positive thought, please send it Aspyn's way!  I think she responds to our faith more than anything else!

 

Just pulled out her nasal tube...this was right after they had reconnected her heart monitor after she pulled it off! :)
 

Snuggling with Mommy


 

 

 

Daddy's Girl

From the moment we found out we were expecting, Tony had all his fingers and toes crossed that our baby would be a girl. 

 

At our 20 week ultrasound, he found out his wish had come true.  Kayl also cried and asked the nurse to turn her into a boy...but he is over that now.

 

I have caught Tony looking at baby girl things in the store and smiling.

 

And now that she is here, I can see the soft spot he has in his heart for his baby girl.  It's right next to the soft spot he has reserved for Kayl.

 

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion and stress.  We were terrified to find out they had to deliver our baby girl so early, to prevent me from getting any sicker.  I could see the struggle in Tony's eyes.  I could tell he felt helpless and scared.

 

But through it all, he took care of all three of us.  He was patient, and loving, and kind.  He was being pulled in a million directions at once, but managed to make us all feel loved and cared for.  He stayed positive and got us all through it.

 

I am so thankful that my children have such an amazingly loving Daddy.  I am thankful he is completely hands on and wants to do everything for his children, from giving baths, to changing diapers.  He is everything to all of us.

 

 



Nicknames

Our little Aspyn has a lot of nicknames already...

 

Button- from Grammy and Papa

 

Sunshine- from Nana

 

Mighty Mouse - from her NICU doctor

 

Flower Power - from the NICU nurses

 

My Sweetheart Baby- from big brother Kayl

 

But I look at her, and  a little "Angel" is what I see.  Sometimes I think if we were to just look at her little back, there would be wings there. 

 

One would think the normal human response when looking at a person that tiny, with wires and tubes hooked to her, would be sadness.  But everyone that has been up to see her can testify that sadness is not an emotion that they feel. 

 

When you look at her, all you can do is smile. 

 

You leave that room feeling better about everything. 

 

You leave that room seeing the entire world in a new light. 

 

I think only an Angel could give you peace like that!

 

And even if she is not a real angel, she definitely has a few watching over her!